It’s no secret…many couples fight about money. But if you can avoid these seven common money mistakes, you’ll give your family a fighting chance with finances. Get on the same page with the people you love most – and decide how to stop fighting about money!
Common Triggers and how to stop fighting about money with your partner
At one point or another, most couples disagree about something money-related. We often hear about these friction points when we’re out for speaking gigs and women’s events (although it’s not just women who are concerned about their personal finance!).
Here’s our list of risky behaviors to check when you want to stop fighting about money with your partner.
Do you…
- live for the moment, with no safety net?
- spend in secret?
- build debt, not wealth?
- send payments late?
- forget to keep good records?
- place all bets on one financial workhorse?
- have conflicting goals?
Have you considered what money topics are triggers in your house?
Do you or your partner live for the moment? Do you have a personal finance safety net?
Sometimes a good understanding of “needs and wants” is the best place to start. Are you constantly overspending with no idea where money goes, because…your kids need school t-shirts now, you eat out when there’s no time to cook or it’s the spring break trip everyone is taking?
It’s easy to get caught in “keeping up with the Joneses” but consider what you’re spending to do it. Make a spending plan so you know where the money must go. Need help getting going with your budget? Check out our spending tracker here. Maybe the family has to choose—no takeout pizza every Friday in order to go on a spring break. Good websites to help: Spend Smart Eat Smart.
Do you and your partner fight about money because one of you spends money in secret?
Ever hide receipts from a spending spree, or maybe it was a casino night with a friend? Do you know where your spouse spends money? Is it your money or our money?
Hiding purchases or debts from a spouse, having secret accounts or getting credit cards in only one name signals trust issues. A survey funded by CESI Debt Solutions revealed that 80% of married folks hide purchases or don’t tell partners about some spending. But 73% said they felt it wasn’t acceptable to spend $100 or more without telling the partner.
What you don’t know can hurt you, especially when it comes to hidden assets or credit reports. This is a good reason to order your credit report annually. Good website, with free report: www.AnnualCreditReport.com
Help your family get ahead financially by building wealth, not debt.
The average American uses credit cards frequently and doesn’t pay off balances monthly. Most of us are so concerned with today’s expenses that we don’t save enough for tomorrow’s college tuition and retirement.
The earlier in your marriage you stash savings, the more the magic of compound interest works. So open a savings account for each goal (college, new car, vacation) and put in a little every paycheck. Start small, think big. When you save automatically, those amounts add up quickly. Next, learn to invest to let your money work for you! Good websites: www.SmartyPig.com
Are you forgetful with personal finances? Get organized and save.
You plan to save and invest, but you just can’t get the accounts opened? You knew that credit card bill was due, but you missed the deadline? Families are busy; finances can get ignored. Months pass. Save time, frustration and late fees by putting your financial chores on auto-pilot. Direct deposit your paychecks and make an auto deduction to savings. Use auto-pay for bills, get statements online. Find an email reminder system for key deadlines, like filing income taxes or paying property taxes. As you might guess, there’s an app for that. Free mobile apps: Remember the milk, Evernote, TrackerSavvy Free, Pageonce.
Maintaining good records can help save your family money.
Along with forgetting about finances, families also fail to keep good records. Unfortunately, the IRS and others won’t allow Americans to rely on a good memory. Good recordkeeping means written documents.
Keep your financial records in one place, and keep them organized. Use a safe deposit box for important records, such as the deed for your home, stock certificates, life insurance policies. (pssst….and check out this post for an easy idea how to organize family docs.) Good website: https://publications.usa.gov/
A quick tip to stop fighting about money – don’t place all your bets on one financial workhorse.
What if one person handles day-to-day finances and then can’t? Relying on one spouse for finances might be convenient, but it’s worrisome too. If spouses don’t share financial duties, will they see eye-to-eye? Work on a plan to involve both of you (maybe even the kids) so you’re in sync. Good website: Women’s Institute for Financial Education
Find some harmony with your partner – talk about your money goals.
He wants a new car, she wants a vacation, the kids want a new television. When you can’t have it all, can you compromise? Maybe it’s time to have those regular family money talks. Good websites: 101 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Money Relationship OR Starting a money conversation with your spouse.